Rocksmith? More like Rock...sucks.

If you pay any attention to the gaming media, you are well acquainted with the idea that rhythm games like Rock Band are dead. While we know this is bullshit (and I'll get into that with a later post) it is impossible to deny the shrinking of the market. I view this as a good thing! The rhythm game market was never supposed to get as large as it did and is now shrinking back down to appropriate sizes.

Having said that, imagine my surprise to see a major developer choosing now, well past the apex of the rhythm game fad, to try and launch a new music game. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Rocksmith!

Now, let me explain why this isn't going to work.

1. We just talked about how the music game market is shrinking. It cannot support multiple versions of what are essentially the game concept (hence the failure of Guitar Hero). By going after the "real guitar!!!!!!" market, Ubisoft is striking at the king of rhythm games: Rock Band.

2. The technique that this game is using to sense your playing is lackluster at best. Yes, it sucks that you had to buy a new guitar to play Pro mode in Rock Band, but it's worth it because of how the damn thing works. Actual sensor technology in the neck of the guitar allows active, on-screen tracking of the location of your fingers and an added precision when playing. Rocksmith, however, will allow you to use any guitar. Their game uses software that track the pitch of the note that is being played, much in the same way that Rock Band does vocals. This method is fine for something like singing, but is too imprecise for guitar.

3. I have a hard time believing that Ubisoft isn't just trying to leech every dollar they can out of every genre they can get their hands on. This game isn't gonna work because Ubisoft doesn't care about it enough to make it work. It's gonna be rough looking, it's gonna be buggy, and it's probably just not gonna be fun to play.

Games journalists, listen up. When this game comes out and sells like a hot turd in a paper bag, you don't get to go "MUSIC GAMES ARE DEAD!!!!!!1!!!!". Nope. Not allowed.

The Conjuration

So, as some of you may know, I am the lead singer of the avant-garde progressive metal band The Conjuration. You can find us on Facebook or at our Bandcamp page (theconjuration.bandcamp.com). I hesitate to give you that link because everyone in the band HATES that material. (Other people like it occasionally, but we all think it's really amateur and unrefined.)

That's actually what this post is about, getting the masses hyped! We are currently working on our second LP (currently untitled). We have the instrumentation for six really kick ass songs done with at least two more on the way and vocals are coming soon. We're really excited about it and can't wait to unleash it on you lovely folk.

Keep in touch! Subscribe, comment, share, whatever you heart desires.

Minecraft

I am alone.

I awaken to water. I know not how I got here, but I know that I cannot stay where I am. I take note of my surroundings and see that the only way I can go is up.

I begin to climb.

My body aches with every movement. It is agony. I slip and struggle on the small patch of land, and the thought of stopping enters my mind. That is impossible. I know that if I stop, death is all that awaits me.


After what feels like an extreme amount of time, I reach an impasse, a gap that I am not able to climb. My only option is to attempt to jump. I force all of myself into this effort, knowing inside that I cannot stop.

I did not make it.

Whatever force brought me here, whatever caused... this... left me too weak. I slam into the earthen wall before me, breaking my nose in the process. The pain is immense. I am almost brought to tears.

I sit on the small patch of earth I have landed on, hoping to reflect on my situation. I do not know why I am here. I do not know where here even is. I do not know what I am going to do. For the first time in years, I feel something.

Fear.

I do not know if I am going to survive.

I am alone.

Rock Band DLC: June 22

"Here's the DLC hitting the RB Music Store next week! 5 Miley Cyrus singles, perfect for the pop fans out there, the female vocalist, parents looking for more family friendly content for Lego Rock Band and HMXjohnd. Yes, HMXjohnd dances to Miley Cyrus and at one point he explained that "her hooks are insane". Between Ozzy last week and Miley this week, we've pretty much got both ends of the spectrum covered!

Available on Xbox 360®, Wii and PlayStation 3 system (June 22):

“7 Things” +
“Can’t Be Tamed”
“Fly On the Wall” +
“See You Again” +
“Start All Over” +

(All tracks are original master recordings)

(These tracks will be available in Europe on PlayStation 3 system June 23)

These tracks will be available as individual tracks on Xbox 360, PlayStation 3 system and Wii, as well as “Miley Cyrus Pack 01” on Xbox 360. Songs marked with “+” will also be available in the family-friendly LEGO® Rock Band Music Store.

Price:

$1.99 USD, £.99 UK, €1.49 EU (160 Microsoft Points for Xbox 360) per track
680 Microsoft Points for Xbox 360 for Miley Cyrus Pack 01
$2.00 USD (200 Wii Points™) per track"

Miley Cyrus? We go from Ozzy to... Miley Cyrus? The Rock Band store is a weird thing sometimes.

We did it!

For the past few days, I have been working with my friend Corey on a musical project of extremely large proportions, and in the waning hours of today, we finally finished it! So, to the readers of this blog, I present to you: The Conjuration, with the first part of our to-be released EP, "Almalexia: A Score Set To Scenes Of Chaos." Almost 19 minutes of insanity!

http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/The-Conjuration/114678911900439

Listen and enjoy!

Guitar Hero: Van Halen

Let me begin by apologizing. I'm very sorry. Guitar Hero: Van Halen is, as they say, my bad. As some of you already know, I am a self-processed music game whore. I bought the original Guitar Hero bundle the day it was available, and rode the music game genre all the way to Beatles: Rock Band, investing hundreds of dollars in games, instruments, and downloadable songs. While running the risk of sounding pseudo-pretentious, I believe that, when properly done, music games allow for a fantastic way for music fans to interact with some of their favorite artists. Anyone who has ever sung along to a song in the car or has wailed away on their own personal air guitar or air drum kit can recognize the appeal of, for one brief moment, in their own mind, fading into the shoes of a world renowned musician. It's a simple experience, but a unique one to the genre that other forms of games have a hard time recreating.

When done improperly, however, you end up with the most obvious cash grab since Activision's last obvious cash grab, Guitar Hero: Van Halen. Brought to you by Underground Development (formerly Z-Trip), the developers of such phenominal titles as X-Men: The Official Game, the PS3 port of Enemy Territory: Quake Wars, and the "Oh-Jesus-I-Can't-Even-Burn-The-Thought-From-My-Mind" BMX XXX. Honestly, BMX XXX might have been a more inspired attempt than this one. Rumored since March, leaked in April, and announced to the surprise of absolutely no one in May, GH: Van Halen has been percieved as a cash grab from the beginning. Lovingly dubbed GH: David Lee Roth's Ego Trip by the fine folks at the Penny Arcade forums, it contains no songs from the Sammy Hagar-led "Van Hagar" period" or the lesser known Gary Cherone era, and, keeping with the spirit of petty "rivalries" from aging, money-hungry musicians, contains neither of the mentioned singers or original Van Halen bass player Michael Anthony, who is replaced by current Van Halen bassist and son of Eddie Van Halen, Wolfgang Van Halen.

The aforementioned Fatty Ding Dongs Van Halen

Activision's most obvious flaw in their release of Guitar Hero: Van Halen (and, in the same way, GH: Metallica and GH: Aerosmith) is the thought process that anyone into Van Halen enough to buy a video game being advertised by them starring them would want to play anything other than Van Halen songs in this particular revision of the series. Who knows, maybe they actually had the idea at some point to actually have the star of the game have the majority of the songs in the game? I mean, I don't think anyone would view this as outrageous, and most people would view it as a respectful way celebrate the career of the band. Luckily though, Fatty Ding Dongs was there to set them straight! Yes, unlike in previous GH single band games, where the "supporting cast" was related to the band in some way, such as inspiring the band in question or listing the headliner as a personal inspiration, the majority of the songs were just chosen at large by Mr. Ding Dongs, and that is how we end up with such bands as Queen, The Clash, Tenacious D, Judas Priest, and Alter Bridge in a game called Guitar Hero: Van Halen.

The most obvious slap in the face to Guitar Hero: Van Halen is, well, Guitar Hero 5. Guitar Hero 5 was built on an entirely new engine built to replace the aging Tony Hawk/Guitar Hero 3 engine. While the character models of GH5 are still a little off, the lighting and animation of the game are absoultely stunning, and honestly recreate the feeling of being at a concert more than any music game out today. Unfortunatly for GH: Van Halen, though, they didn't get the GH5 engine. GH: Van Halen was built on the aforementioned aging TH\GH3 engine, and it shows horribly even without comparing it to GH5. The game is not pretty. The animations are stiff, and the character models are horrid. This means that either the game was in development long before GH5, or that it was quickly thrown together with the scraps left over from more competent games/studios as a quick sell for Christmas. This is all without mentioning the fact that Activision had so little faith in this game standing on it's own, plus fear of the impending release of Beatles: Rock Band, that they literally gave this game away. If you bought GH5 new during the months of September, they would mail you this game for free in a little envelope that only served to accentuate how pitiful this game was: they didn't even give you a case.

I don't even know anymore

In short, as poor in quality that this game is, it is a perfect metaphor for the state of the music genre as a whole: reaching. They're reaching the end of their rope. The music game bubble is slowly letting out all traces of life, and Activision is doing whatever it can to squeeze out the last bit of blood from their stone. Or, and this has honestly came to mind before, they have decided to enact a scorched earth policy: if they can monoplize the genre, then kill it and keep anyone else from doing such. It's Activision, you honestly can't put something like that past them. The genre that I wrote so lovingly of at the beginning of this peace is dying, as much as I hate to say it, and it's very clear. When a game starring The Beatles, arguably the largest and most influencial rock band in the history of music, sells below expectations, something has gone wrong, and that's how we end up with Green Day: Rock Band. That is an article for another day, though.